A Knight in Shining Armor

A Knight in Shining Armor

Understanding Men's Romantic Illusions

Book - 1991
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Baker & Taylor
Interviews with more than one hundred men and women reveal a common self-defeating phenomenon named "the man-servant syndrome" experienced by men when they push too hard to become a good provider and expect too much from their mates

Blackwell North Amer
Do these sound familiar? "Women have their ways of getting what they want out of a man." "Women show gratitude to men when it buys them something." "Despite appearances, men are often controlled by women."
According to psychologist Harvey Hornstein, these are just a few statements that symptomize a traditional pattern present in relationships between men and women. In his insightful new book, A Knight in Shining Armor, Hornstein has named this phenomenon The Man-Servant Syndrome. Affecting all men at some time in their lives, it begins with self-doubt caused by an impossible-to-fulfill standard, called the male competency cluster, and ends with an impossible-to-fulfill fantasy that launches men on a self-defeating, never-ending quest: "Show that you're worthy and women will give you their bounty--affirming that you are a real man." No woman exists who possesses this magic. Caught in a tragic cycle, these men serve, become disillusioned, and finally end up as enraged oppressors of women.
On the basis of interviews he conducted with 150 men and women, Harvey Hornstein has located the counterpart for Colette Dowling's "Cinderella Complex." The heroes of "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Frog Prince" are prototypes for the Man-Servant. In return for his service a woman transforms the ugly creature into the flawless man. In addition to the psychological damage they do to themselves, Hornstein shows how men's behaviors and myths contribute to the stereotyping of women by furthering the unspoken rule that says women must be protected, provided for, and adored. It is then up to the woman to make the man feel like Prince Charming, a knight in shining armor.
Hornstein details the three common forms of man-servanting--ministers, educators, and Lancelots--and offers five guidelines for men's emotional emancipation that aim toward easing the burden of relationships on both genders.
A Knight in Shining Armor offers a fresh look at interpersonal relationships that will benefit both women and men. After all, Hornstein points out, "Has it occurred to you that Prince Charming had problems, too?"

Publisher: New York : Morrow, 1991.
ISBN: 9780688098438
Branch Call Number: 155.332 HOR
Characteristics: 175 p. ; 22 cm.


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